2010 marks the start to a new paradigm for mothers. Whether you run a business or not, the age of work ’til you drop is over.

I experimented with many work styles in 2009 and realized that how much I accomplished had very little to do with how many hours I worked. We’ve all heard that it’s better to work smart than just hard- it’s time to put that into action.

Let me tell you a little about how I used to approach work: I’d haphazardly jump into my email inbox and put out small fires one by one with no clear direct or intention for the day. I’d tackle whatever issue screamed the loudest without making list and identifying my clear priorities. I didn’t make start and stop times for work. One of my mentors, Chellie Campbell whose workshop Financial Stress Reduction transformed me into a business owner who was pulling in a deficit every month to where I am now (this will be my first six-figure quarter) once told me, “Your work will expand into however much time you’re willing to give it,” and that’s what was happening.

I was literally working all night long. I’d sleep for a few hours and then jumped in again to another crazy day of working & mothering.

By the end of 2009 I realized that while I was getting it all done; my family was happy, my clients were happy, I was getting worn out. I had little to no time for friends but fooled myself into being proud of that (“Oh look how busy and productive I am!”). Our bodies need sleep even if our minds are stimulated. Our relationships need attention. Our spirits need time to meditate. Our souls need to have fun.

There is a difference between a business owner and a slave who is in possession of a job. I’ve resolved in 2010 to be committed to brilliance, excellence, and balance.

Brilliance: All of us have unique gifts. Our calling and talents serve the world. I have a responsibility to make sure I’m using them efficiently.

Excellence: This means doing what I say I’m going to do and doing it well. This isn’t about perfection, per se, it’s about having high standard for my work and behavior.

Balance: Being a wife and mother means that I have to take care of myself. So many women die every year from heart problems due to years of unchecked stress. Yes, it’s possible to get it all done (I know, I’ve done it) but do you really want to? We need to have periods of intense work, family time, and time to just be still for reflection and meditation. I’ve found that the key to balance is being willing to ask and accept help, create systems, and set limits. More on that next time.

I love my life, family, and the companies that I’m so privileged to serve. My hope for all of you mom entrepreneurs out there, whether you run a single blog or a multinational corporation is that you keep your days inspired and intentions clear.

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Definitely my new mantra and my intention for 2010.

My eldest was just blessed with a few toys from family and tomorrow she gets to pick which ones she wants to keep and which will go to our friends; kids who are in need. It’s so interesting to watch her hold an old toy and a new one in her hand. I can see the wheels turning. She’s asking herself the question I hoped she’d ask, the one we all need to continually ask: “What do I treasure?”

Treasuring and wanting are not the same thing. Wanting comes from a need to pacify the beast. Treasuring sprouts from love, affection, and respect.

Tomorrow I’ll also be going through my closets, cupboards, and every room to search out anything that isn’t representative of what our family treasures. Excess be gone. It’s an ongoing process that I’m fine tuning.

So often we ask ourselves why we don’t get “what we want.” In many cases the problem can be found within conflicting desires. We ask for clarity and produce clutter. We ask for freedom and create stifling environments. Maintaining one’s personal space is physically easy and must be done with…you guessed it, intention!

It’s okay to be a consumer but what we need to learn to do is make purchases that are in alignment with who we are and what we want our world to look like. I have felt the difference between spending $100 at Target on who knows what and spending the same amount supporting passionate entrepreneurs and artists whose products will bring joy and beauty to my lives and the lives of my loved ones.

Don’t fall for the catchphrase “Get more for less.” Do we really want more? We’re bursting at the seams with stuff. Our challenge as wealthy individuals (because in my book if you know where you next meal is coming from and sleep in a warm bed, you’ve got it good) is not to keep neurotically collecting and passing the same value on to our kids.  Once we have our basic needs met, one would do well to become selective. Picky. Buying on purpose based on true needs and on a pre-established consumer value system.

Quality over quantity. This has little to do with prices. Save the money you’d spend on five cheaply made trinkets and find one great one. Set limits. Focus on experiences rather than filling up a toy box. Get art supplies or a real musical instrument. When your living room becomes a room you can actually live in again you’ll know you’re on to something good.

Photo from SFGate.com

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November is all about simplifying. Creating a complicated existence is so 2006 for me. I’ve adopted a new rule that I think every entrepreneur mom may want to consider adopting.

If you pick up one thing, drop another.

Our hands & lives can only hold so much. The quickest way to overload is trying to “do it all.”  Whatever business model you’re in is one you’ve created and if it doesn’t work, deconstruct and begin again.

I can hear you saying, “Easier said than done, Bunmi.” But what isn’t?

If you’re running a part-time or full-time venture, make a list of the tasks you do every week and decide which ones you’re willing to outsource.

Cooking dinner every night was something I thought I wanted to let go so we tried a meal service. Not only did I realize that I still needed to cook as my 3 year-old wouldn’t touch the fancy stuff my husband and I liked, I figured out that I actually love cooking and developed a Sunday meal prep system that makes dinner fun.

Cleaning on the other hand I have very little emotional attachment to. I found a great cleaning service in my city and supported another entrepreneur mom (the one that owns it) by using their services. They even fold laundry!

Tomorrow will be my first day with a personal assistant I’m looking forward to have help getting out Thank You cards that are far overdue, taking home management to a new level of systematization and just bringing more peace to my everyday life.

I’m a mom of two children, one of whom is on my person much of the day, who doesn’t want to do it all. Just the parts I choose.

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As I type in the dark of my bedroom, my two little girls sleep. Maya-Azriel is 3.4. Tali-Yves is 2 months. We’ve been in Montreal, by way of Orange County (and Orange County by way of the Bay Area), CA for about four months now and have been enjoying this adventure. New language, new culture, but somehow, the same people.

My kids are a Jewish, Nigerian, Russian and Native American blend of backgrounds and traditions. They have a rich kaleidoscope of culture and ancestors who will call to them throughout their lives. The phrase “my people” won’t mean the same thing it mean to their grandparents. My children are citizen’s of the world.

Technology and travel have made it possible for people’s of the world to bump up against each other and experience one another’s lives like never before in history. We can no longer pretend as if our loyalty lies with the country from which our passports are issued. We belong to each other and our children will feel and live that.

My husband and I have decided to raise our children with the consciousness that when they look into another person’s eyes, no matter their skin color, political affiliation, or country of origin, that they belong to each other. The illusion of separation is fading, the seductiveness of drama derived from the tired argument “We’re better..!” is waning and it makes me want to dance.

Our children don’t have to travel the world to know that all people are essentially the same but they will. I remember the first time this truth planted itself in my heart. It was 5:30 PM and I’d decided to take my eldest to our neighborhood park. There were about 5 other moms there with their children and all of us happened to be different ethnicities. As I listened and watched us all interact with our children, dealing with the same issues (“If you throw sand one more time…”), all hoping that our little one’s would be exhausted enough to not reject dinner and be asleep by 7, I realized that they were all me and I was them. Our grandparents all originated from different parts of the world, but here we were, gathered together.

Our children are blessed to be world citizens and I know that they’ll rise to the challenge of pledging allegiance to one another, to be indivisible, and to be committed to liberty and justice for all.

Thanks to a fab children’s clothing line, founded by creative entrepreneur women for inspiring this post!

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There are times in every person’s life when they are faced with the challenge of reinventing themselves from the dirt up. Everything you have built up to that moment seems to suddenly be irrelevant as a new way of life, revitalized sense of purpose, calls.

For many, these moments are difficult because as human beings, our tendency is towards sameness. The new, uncharted, often windy path seems so dangerous and risky compared with the lukewarm, hotdog water of the present moment no matter how stagnant it is.

The quandary is made especially difficult if what you’re currently preoccupying yourself with either 1) entertains you or 2) pays you lots of money.

I think of my infant daughter. Even when she wakes up at 4 AM, hungry and ready to eat, her desire for breastmilk is thwarted by her desire to stare at the decorative brightly colored fall leaves adorning my bedroom wall. The way my breast is positioned isn’t conducive to the simultaneous wall-watching that she’d like to take part in during the wee hours. So she struggles, her mouth faces the nipple hungrily while her eyes pull her away from her meal toward what is captivating her. The divided focus almost always results in a high pitched shout of frustration as she realizes that her pangs of hunger aren’t being met. It’s then that I, the hand of God in her life, direct her head firmly but gently so that she can nurse.

The wall can wait. It’s time to eat.

How many of us full grown adults find ourselves in the same position?

We’re built with layers of deep hunger in our souls. Has your preference changed? Ignoring the pangs by going full speed ahead is a short term solution to an eternal question.

Inspiration and revolution are two sisters always looking for spirits who are willing to create with them. This requires focus and courage;  a willingness to face the boobie and be fed in spite of many other wonderful things to look at and busy our hands with.

Ask yourself: What am I hungry for? What great purpose is calling to me from across the deepest waters?

Listen.

And eat.

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