Definitely my new mantra and my intention for 2010.

My eldest was just blessed with a few toys from family and tomorrow she gets to pick which ones she wants to keep and which will go to our friends; kids who are in need. It’s so interesting to watch her hold an old toy and a new one in her hand. I can see the wheels turning. She’s asking herself the question I hoped she’d ask, the one we all need to continually ask: “What do I treasure?”

Treasuring and wanting are not the same thing. Wanting comes from a need to pacify the beast. Treasuring sprouts from love, affection, and respect.

Tomorrow I’ll also be going through my closets, cupboards, and every room to search out anything that isn’t representative of what our family treasures. Excess be gone. It’s an ongoing process that I’m fine tuning.

So often we ask ourselves why we don’t get “what we want.” In many cases the problem can be found within conflicting desires. We ask for clarity and produce clutter. We ask for freedom and create stifling environments. Maintaining one’s personal space is physically easy and must be done with…you guessed it, intention!

It’s okay to be a consumer but what we need to learn to do is make purchases that are in alignment with who we are and what we want our world to look like. I have felt the difference between spending $100 at Target on who knows what and spending the same amount supporting passionate entrepreneurs and artists whose products will bring joy and beauty to my lives and the lives of my loved ones.

Don’t fall for the catchphrase “Get more for less.” Do we really want more? We’re bursting at the seams with stuff. Our challenge as wealthy individuals (because in my book if you know where you next meal is coming from and sleep in a warm bed, you’ve got it good) is not to keep neurotically collecting and passing the same value on to our kids.  Once we have our basic needs met, one would do well to become selective. Picky. Buying on purpose based on true needs and on a pre-established consumer value system.

Quality over quantity. This has little to do with prices. Save the money you’d spend on five cheaply made trinkets and find one great one. Set limits. Focus on experiences rather than filling up a toy box. Get art supplies or a real musical instrument. When your living room becomes a room you can actually live in again you’ll know you’re on to something good.

Photo from SFGate.com

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This year has been a huge and happy one for my family. We moved somewhere we really wanted to be, welcomed a second child, and learned the value of being intentional in all areas of life.

Intents are powerful. When every action is the result of an outcome that is chosen in advance, even the most mundane of moments become a mini paradise.

Sitting down to play puzzles isn’t just sitting down to play puzzles, it’s part of my intent to be an involved, loving, teaching parent who can relax and 100% engage with my 3 year-old. Doing dishes isn’t just doing dishes: it’s an act of love and part of my intent to keep my home a serene space.

I’ve been reading The Power of Less by Leo Babauta. He’s a father of six (yes six) children who is best known for his website Zen Habits. Leo is the go-to man for anyone interested in living a simpler, clearer lifestyle.

One part of the book that resonated with me was the chapter wherein he discussed stuff. Moving to Montreal, Canada has been a dream of both my husband and mine since 2005 and one aspect of the move that thrilled me was the opportunity to get rid of lots of our stuff. Stuff, when accumulated, takes on a life of its own. It bursts out of closets, crams kitchen cabinets, fills up every inch of garages and even spills into off-site storage centers. Ugh!

In his book, Leo mentioned the idea of having limits, an actual number, for how many pieces of stuff, one can have in their home. I immediately fell in love with the concept.

All of us with kids know how fast their toys, books, and clothes add up. Toys they never play with and clothes they’ve grown out of or can’t even wear yet.

I recently introduced my 3 year-old to the concept of limiting her things and was amazed at how easily she took to the concept. No crying, no upset, just “Oh, yeah I want to keep that, no let’s give that to the friends (kids who we’re giving the excess to).” She now has 10 toys and 10 DVDs. In terms of art supplies, it’s whatever can fit comfortably in her art box (it’s made up of smaller boxes that contain different items such as crayons, little multi-colored pom poms, colored popsicle sticks, etc. She can have however many books fit nicely into her bookshelf. No stacking books on top of each other or packing them in so tightly that they’re hard to take out and read.

In case you’re wondering what we’re doing during the gift giving season, we have a system: for every toy that comes in, one goes out. To watch my daughter think critically and make decisions as to what really matters to her excites me. It’s a skill she’ll carry with her forever. Not only will it encourage us not take part in mindless spending, it’ll encourage extended family and friends to think twice before buying her a gift and choose in favor of experiences such as a trip to a movie or the Biodome.

Every decision we make is actually two decisions. We say “yes” to one thing and “no” to another. The problem is many of us see only one of the choices. When we say yes to a shopping cart of things for the home we don’t really need or want, we say no to peace and serenity. When mothers say “yes” to an obligation they don’t really want to take on and don’t have the emotional or physical space to give away, they say no to making empowered, responsible choices.

Over the next few days we’ll be going through our home and taking stock and applying limits to how much we want to fill our space with. 10 seems to be a good number.

It’s wise to be careful and intentional with what we put into our lives. Is every one of your friends one that you cherish and respect, or do some need to be politely phased out for the effect they have on you? Do you love each and every one of your fabulously paying clients? Are your days filled with joy and service? Examine and ruthlessly throw out the junk. Let there be downtime, space, and silence. You’ll like it.

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