Two big garbage bags of toys just left my home. A man came and whisked them away in some sort of fabulous reverse Santa Claus moment. They were the toys that my eldest had chosen to give away as part of my family’s new “Pick 10″ commitment.

Now, I’m not one to say no to domestic help. That said, I really only hire people to clean my home about once a month for the deep clean benefits. The rest of the time I’m on my own.

I’m not Martha. My living room is not always perfect (the peak messy hour is 10 AM) but it is rarely out of control. A clean home makes all the difference in the world. You know how peaceful you feel when your home is organized vs. when it looks like a thrift store vomited all over it.

Here are Five Tips for Maintaining Domestic Order:

1. Set Limits! Pay attention to how much stuff you own. You don’t need two mini-strollers for your child’s dolls. Give one away. 15 sippy cups? Toss out 11.

2. Give everything a predetermined home. Almost every item in my home has a place of its own. This makes cleaning easy. Different toys have special places where they “rest.” The broom has a place it lives. Books have a spot to hang. My diaper bag has it’s own joint. You get it?

3. Getting control of dishes. Back to tip #1. If you hate washing dishes or notice they pile up quickly, put a cap on how many you own. A family of 4 doesn’t need 86 plates or 20 cups. Bonus points if you take the excess to a deserted area and take them out Duck Hunt style.

4. Make a plan. Do big tasks on the same day of the week. Make Monday floors day. Tuesday can be for the bathrooms. Then have a short routine that you do every night. Mine is: sweep kitchen, wipe down counters, and pick up the living room. Easy!

5. Laundry. To prevent laundry from taking over your life, do a load a day and then put it away immediately.

No one is asking you to be perfect but these five simple steps have the potential to completely change how you feel about your living space.

We say we want to change the world and make a difference. It essential to gain mastery over one’s self and space as a part of making the world better. What you can’t do for yourself you can never do for someone else.

Take back your home.

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2010 marks the start to a new paradigm for mothers. Whether you run a business or not, the age of work ’til you drop is over.

I experimented with many work styles in 2009 and realized that how much I accomplished had very little to do with how many hours I worked. We’ve all heard that it’s better to work smart than just hard- it’s time to put that into action.

Let me tell you a little about how I used to approach work: I’d haphazardly jump into my email inbox and put out small fires one by one with no clear direct or intention for the day. I’d tackle whatever issue screamed the loudest without making list and identifying my clear priorities. I didn’t make start and stop times for work. One of my mentors, Chellie Campbell whose workshop Financial Stress Reduction transformed me into a business owner who was pulling in a deficit every month to where I am now (this will be my first six-figure quarter) once told me, “Your work will expand into however much time you’re willing to give it,” and that’s what was happening.

I was literally working all night long. I’d sleep for a few hours and then jumped in again to another crazy day of working & mothering.

By the end of 2009 I realized that while I was getting it all done; my family was happy, my clients were happy, I was getting worn out. I had little to no time for friends but fooled myself into being proud of that (“Oh look how busy and productive I am!”). Our bodies need sleep even if our minds are stimulated. Our relationships need attention. Our spirits need time to meditate. Our souls need to have fun.

There is a difference between a business owner and a slave who is in possession of a job. I’ve resolved in 2010 to be committed to brilliance, excellence, and balance.

Brilliance: All of us have unique gifts. Our calling and talents serve the world. I have a responsibility to make sure I’m using them efficiently.

Excellence: This means doing what I say I’m going to do and doing it well. This isn’t about perfection, per se, it’s about having high standard for my work and behavior.

Balance: Being a wife and mother means that I have to take care of myself. So many women die every year from heart problems due to years of unchecked stress. Yes, it’s possible to get it all done (I know, I’ve done it) but do you really want to? We need to have periods of intense work, family time, and time to just be still for reflection and meditation. I’ve found that the key to balance is being willing to ask and accept help, create systems, and set limits. More on that next time.

I love my life, family, and the companies that I’m so privileged to serve. My hope for all of you mom entrepreneurs out there, whether you run a single blog or a multinational corporation is that you keep your days inspired and intentions clear.

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Definitely my new mantra and my intention for 2010.

My eldest was just blessed with a few toys from family and tomorrow she gets to pick which ones she wants to keep and which will go to our friends; kids who are in need. It’s so interesting to watch her hold an old toy and a new one in her hand. I can see the wheels turning. She’s asking herself the question I hoped she’d ask, the one we all need to continually ask: “What do I treasure?”

Treasuring and wanting are not the same thing. Wanting comes from a need to pacify the beast. Treasuring sprouts from love, affection, and respect.

Tomorrow I’ll also be going through my closets, cupboards, and every room to search out anything that isn’t representative of what our family treasures. Excess be gone. It’s an ongoing process that I’m fine tuning.

So often we ask ourselves why we don’t get “what we want.” In many cases the problem can be found within conflicting desires. We ask for clarity and produce clutter. We ask for freedom and create stifling environments. Maintaining one’s personal space is physically easy and must be done with…you guessed it, intention!

It’s okay to be a consumer but what we need to learn to do is make purchases that are in alignment with who we are and what we want our world to look like. I have felt the difference between spending $100 at Target on who knows what and spending the same amount supporting passionate entrepreneurs and artists whose products will bring joy and beauty to my lives and the lives of my loved ones.

Don’t fall for the catchphrase “Get more for less.” Do we really want more? We’re bursting at the seams with stuff. Our challenge as wealthy individuals (because in my book if you know where you next meal is coming from and sleep in a warm bed, you’ve got it good) is not to keep neurotically collecting and passing the same value on to our kids.  Once we have our basic needs met, one would do well to become selective. Picky. Buying on purpose based on true needs and on a pre-established consumer value system.

Quality over quantity. This has little to do with prices. Save the money you’d spend on five cheaply made trinkets and find one great one. Set limits. Focus on experiences rather than filling up a toy box. Get art supplies or a real musical instrument. When your living room becomes a room you can actually live in again you’ll know you’re on to something good.

Photo from SFGate.com

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This year has been a huge and happy one for my family. We moved somewhere we really wanted to be, welcomed a second child, and learned the value of being intentional in all areas of life.

Intents are powerful. When every action is the result of an outcome that is chosen in advance, even the most mundane of moments become a mini paradise.

Sitting down to play puzzles isn’t just sitting down to play puzzles, it’s part of my intent to be an involved, loving, teaching parent who can relax and 100% engage with my 3 year-old. Doing dishes isn’t just doing dishes: it’s an act of love and part of my intent to keep my home a serene space.

I’ve been reading The Power of Less by Leo Babauta. He’s a father of six (yes six) children who is best known for his website Zen Habits. Leo is the go-to man for anyone interested in living a simpler, clearer lifestyle.

One part of the book that resonated with me was the chapter wherein he discussed stuff. Moving to Montreal, Canada has been a dream of both my husband and mine since 2005 and one aspect of the move that thrilled me was the opportunity to get rid of lots of our stuff. Stuff, when accumulated, takes on a life of its own. It bursts out of closets, crams kitchen cabinets, fills up every inch of garages and even spills into off-site storage centers. Ugh!

In his book, Leo mentioned the idea of having limits, an actual number, for how many pieces of stuff, one can have in their home. I immediately fell in love with the concept.

All of us with kids know how fast their toys, books, and clothes add up. Toys they never play with and clothes they’ve grown out of or can’t even wear yet.

I recently introduced my 3 year-old to the concept of limiting her things and was amazed at how easily she took to the concept. No crying, no upset, just “Oh, yeah I want to keep that, no let’s give that to the friends (kids who we’re giving the excess to).” She now has 10 toys and 10 DVDs. In terms of art supplies, it’s whatever can fit comfortably in her art box (it’s made up of smaller boxes that contain different items such as crayons, little multi-colored pom poms, colored popsicle sticks, etc. She can have however many books fit nicely into her bookshelf. No stacking books on top of each other or packing them in so tightly that they’re hard to take out and read.

In case you’re wondering what we’re doing during the gift giving season, we have a system: for every toy that comes in, one goes out. To watch my daughter think critically and make decisions as to what really matters to her excites me. It’s a skill she’ll carry with her forever. Not only will it encourage us not take part in mindless spending, it’ll encourage extended family and friends to think twice before buying her a gift and choose in favor of experiences such as a trip to a movie or the Biodome.

Every decision we make is actually two decisions. We say “yes” to one thing and “no” to another. The problem is many of us see only one of the choices. When we say yes to a shopping cart of things for the home we don’t really need or want, we say no to peace and serenity. When mothers say “yes” to an obligation they don’t really want to take on and don’t have the emotional or physical space to give away, they say no to making empowered, responsible choices.

Over the next few days we’ll be going through our home and taking stock and applying limits to how much we want to fill our space with. 10 seems to be a good number.

It’s wise to be careful and intentional with what we put into our lives. Is every one of your friends one that you cherish and respect, or do some need to be politely phased out for the effect they have on you? Do you love each and every one of your fabulously paying clients? Are your days filled with joy and service? Examine and ruthlessly throw out the junk. Let there be downtime, space, and silence. You’ll like it.

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November is all about simplifying. Creating a complicated existence is so 2006 for me. I’ve adopted a new rule that I think every entrepreneur mom may want to consider adopting.

If you pick up one thing, drop another.

Our hands & lives can only hold so much. The quickest way to overload is trying to “do it all.”  Whatever business model you’re in is one you’ve created and if it doesn’t work, deconstruct and begin again.

I can hear you saying, “Easier said than done, Bunmi.” But what isn’t?

If you’re running a part-time or full-time venture, make a list of the tasks you do every week and decide which ones you’re willing to outsource.

Cooking dinner every night was something I thought I wanted to let go so we tried a meal service. Not only did I realize that I still needed to cook as my 3 year-old wouldn’t touch the fancy stuff my husband and I liked, I figured out that I actually love cooking and developed a Sunday meal prep system that makes dinner fun.

Cleaning on the other hand I have very little emotional attachment to. I found a great cleaning service in my city and supported another entrepreneur mom (the one that owns it) by using their services. They even fold laundry!

Tomorrow will be my first day with a personal assistant I’m looking forward to have help getting out Thank You cards that are far overdue, taking home management to a new level of systematization and just bringing more peace to my everyday life.

I’m a mom of two children, one of whom is on my person much of the day, who doesn’t want to do it all. Just the parts I choose.

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As I type in the dark of my bedroom, my two little girls sleep. Maya-Azriel is 3.4. Tali-Yves is 2 months. We’ve been in Montreal, by way of Orange County (and Orange County by way of the Bay Area), CA for about four months now and have been enjoying this adventure. New language, new culture, but somehow, the same people.

My kids are a Jewish, Nigerian, Russian and Native American blend of backgrounds and traditions. They have a rich kaleidoscope of culture and ancestors who will call to them throughout their lives. The phrase “my people” won’t mean the same thing it mean to their grandparents. My children are citizen’s of the world.

Technology and travel have made it possible for people’s of the world to bump up against each other and experience one another’s lives like never before in history. We can no longer pretend as if our loyalty lies with the country from which our passports are issued. We belong to each other and our children will feel and live that.

My husband and I have decided to raise our children with the consciousness that when they look into another person’s eyes, no matter their skin color, political affiliation, or country of origin, that they belong to each other. The illusion of separation is fading, the seductiveness of drama derived from the tired argument “We’re better..!” is waning and it makes me want to dance.

Our children don’t have to travel the world to know that all people are essentially the same but they will. I remember the first time this truth planted itself in my heart. It was 5:30 PM and I’d decided to take my eldest to our neighborhood park. There were about 5 other moms there with their children and all of us happened to be different ethnicities. As I listened and watched us all interact with our children, dealing with the same issues (“If you throw sand one more time…”), all hoping that our little one’s would be exhausted enough to not reject dinner and be asleep by 7, I realized that they were all me and I was them. Our grandparents all originated from different parts of the world, but here we were, gathered together.

Our children are blessed to be world citizens and I know that they’ll rise to the challenge of pledging allegiance to one another, to be indivisible, and to be committed to liberty and justice for all.

Thanks to a fab children’s clothing line, founded by creative entrepreneur women for inspiring this post!

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You can’t turn around without bumping into someone who has a strong opinion about how businesses should use social media these days. It’s impossible.

It’s almost 4 AM here and I just emailed a business owner mom I know asking, “Why don’t you have a business Twitter account?!” I was appalled and disturbed that she hadn’t registered her business name. After all, it was available and Twitter is, in my kind of humble opinion, one of the best, free ways to drive traffic to one’s website.

Social media is like a magnifying glass; if a company is awesome, it’ll showcase that awesomeness and reap positive results. On the other hand, whatever major blunders an organization experiences, or flaws they have within their model will also be amplified by the online social scene.

For the last two years I’ve social networked for large family brands and high profile media personalities & authors. For my writers and celebrities, social networking is going to probably increase in importance over the years. In the case of my large family brands, I think social media is going to have to be worked into a specific offline marketing solution: that is why I created the One Crazy Mother Newsletter List.

There are many moms who don’t spend a significant amount of time online. They’re in playgroups. These moms have the same buying power as online mom and haven’t been desensitized to social marketing in the same way blog readers have.

Marketing is an ever evolving industry that has come a long way since the traditional agency model that focused on print advertising as a tangible strategy (can you imagine??). Paying attention to online and offline trends makes all the difference.

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There are times in every person’s life when they are faced with the challenge of reinventing themselves from the dirt up. Everything you have built up to that moment seems to suddenly be irrelevant as a new way of life, revitalized sense of purpose, calls.

For many, these moments are difficult because as human beings, our tendency is towards sameness. The new, uncharted, often windy path seems so dangerous and risky compared with the lukewarm, hotdog water of the present moment no matter how stagnant it is.

The quandary is made especially difficult if what you’re currently preoccupying yourself with either 1) entertains you or 2) pays you lots of money.

I think of my infant daughter. Even when she wakes up at 4 AM, hungry and ready to eat, her desire for breastmilk is thwarted by her desire to stare at the decorative brightly colored fall leaves adorning my bedroom wall. The way my breast is positioned isn’t conducive to the simultaneous wall-watching that she’d like to take part in during the wee hours. So she struggles, her mouth faces the nipple hungrily while her eyes pull her away from her meal toward what is captivating her. The divided focus almost always results in a high pitched shout of frustration as she realizes that her pangs of hunger aren’t being met. It’s then that I, the hand of God in her life, direct her head firmly but gently so that she can nurse.

The wall can wait. It’s time to eat.

How many of us full grown adults find ourselves in the same position?

We’re built with layers of deep hunger in our souls. Has your preference changed? Ignoring the pangs by going full speed ahead is a short term solution to an eternal question.

Inspiration and revolution are two sisters always looking for spirits who are willing to create with them. This requires focus and courage;  a willingness to face the boobie and be fed in spite of many other wonderful things to look at and busy our hands with.

Ask yourself: What am I hungry for? What great purpose is calling to me from across the deepest waters?

Listen.

And eat.

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Today I received a DVD in the mail. It was Lullaby Exercises, an exercise DVD by mom Darcy Albrecht that is designed for moms to do with their little ones in a baby sling or wrap. I’m a huge baby wearer with this baby because she does SO WELL in her Moby Wrap.

I mean, she sleeps all day. No joke. When I take her out for too long, she cries from the over stimulation. She just loves being cozy next to mom. I’m happy to oblige, I mean she’s a newborn. Two months ago she was floating around in amniotic fluid in the dark listening to my heartbeat from the inside. I do everything with her in her Moby; work, clean, prepare meals…now I work out, too!

I wasn’t planning to try this DVD today but popped it in at abut 4:30 PM when my little one started getting fussy. Her whines turned into howls so I gave up on a work call and popped in the DVD.

Darcy’s soothing voice, the sweet music, and the moves in the Sleep section of the DVD had my baby asleep within 2 minutes. I’m not kidding. She was in such a deep sleep that I decided to go ahead and try the Groove section. Now this is what I call a mama workout! The steps were so much fun to do and Darcy’s attitude is contagious. As my baby settled in to a deep snoring sleep I was working my tummy, arms and legs all to some original booty-shaking pop country music.

The best part of Lullaby Exercises is that it spoke to me as a mom. Darcy held her own son while she talked about soothing babies in the middle of the night and her love for her family.  It was real. Every once in awhile there would be a crying in the background, not in a distracting way (as if that sound could be distracting to a mom) and it was clear that these women in the video were real moms like me.

I love this DVD so much. I’m going to do it several times a week. By the end of it I could feel that my muscles had gotten a great workout and even though I hadn’t left the house, I felt like I’d connected with a great mom friend!

Bonus: There is a CD of great country music with beautiful lyrics included!

This is a Mommy Must Have!

Lullaby Exercises by chicks-n-chickens

$29.95

http://www.chicks-n-chickens.com/shop.html

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One Crazy Mother Media has expanded into a social media marketing and online publishing company! This is all very exciting. I’ve been working hard for the past couple of years to combine my love of online marketing, offline mom group outreach, and publishing and the trifecta has finally come together!

I love working with a lineup of amazing companies and bringing their message to moms both online and off. It’s been amazing to see watch these companies, who truly care about their customers, connect and interact with mom groups and bloggers.

I started One Crazy Mother Media because I’m passionate about moms. Not only do we hold our families and communities together, we are the world’s stimulus package and serve as the foundation for the economy both locally and on a global level.

Who buys the groceries?

Who buys the children’s items?

Who furnishes the home?

Mom.

It has become impossible for retailers to ignore our purchasing power.

One thing I’m really excited about with One Crazy Mother Media is a new way we’re helping businesses and moms communicate: mom group outreach.

It’s been absolute joy to watch mom group leaders get excited about the coupons, contests, and freebies that these smart companies send their way through us.

Here’s to the future!

- Bunmi

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